My grandmother, Elsie Reaven died from breast cancer at 72 on May 13th, 1993. Elsie was an amazing and inspirational woman. Mother of 4, grandmother to 5, raised in a Denver orphanage, 1st woman elected citywide to the Akron, OH City Council, avid bridge player, M.A. student at SF State at 68, college teacher, political and social justice advocate, and a favorite at the Stonestown Loehmann’s store for the treats she would bring the staff when shopping.
In 2000, I saw the ads for the then Avon 3-Day walk to fight Breast Cancer in SF. I got my younger sister to go to an orientation meeting to learn more. After watching the Inspiration DVD, we were both in tears and my sister turned to me and said: “We’re doing this!” Together, brother and sister walked 60 miles in memory of our grandmother, from San Jose up the coast to the Marina Green, farther than either of us even likes to drive!
I will never forget the chills I got walking onto the Marina Green as a group of 3,000, women and men united in a cause, chanting “There ain’t no party like a 3-Day party, cuz a 3-Day party don’t stop!” And then came the crew, and then the survivors, embodying hope and the reason we all walked, shuffled, and limped for 3 days up the SF peninsula. With more tears, at the enormity of what we had just done and the loss of what might’ve been had Elsie not been misdiagnosed, my sister and I joined in and raised one shoe each, a silent moment of remembrance.
Never before have I felt such a sense of joy and peace, the calm one gets from leaving their safe routine behind and stepping out to become part of something bigger than themselves, to do something for others, especially those that can’t do it for themselves.
I have had the great fortune to feel that joy 4 more times since that day. After that first walk in SF, I decided that this was something I needed to be a part of again. I have done the 60-mile, 3-day walk twice more in my hometown of SF, and once each in NY and Chicago. In 2008, my 5’1” mom (I’m 6’) joined me on the SF walk, and we were quite the pair, famous as the Mother-Son team! This year I am going to do 2 walks for the 1st time; in the July heat in Boston, and with my mom again in SF.
We lost Elsie because the lump in her breast went undiagnosed by her primary physician till it was too late. He relied on two negative mammograms and never checked further. I like to think that because of the walking we all do, no one will be misdiagnosed like she was ever again.
I walk because I can, and because Elsie would walk if she were here today.
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